letting go is harder than you think
by kittycatpony
Summary: He opened his eyes slowly, expecting to have another glorious day of summer vacation before school started in just a few days, but he didn't he opened his eyes to a dimly lit room. His eyes widened in shock as he looked around "ferb! Oh no what happened to you! Where am I? Wait is this our room!" he exclaimed rated T for death and self harm...
1. Chapter 1

He opened his eyes slowly, expecting to have another glorious day of summer vacation before school started in just a few days, but he didn't he opened his eyes to a dimly lit room. His eyes widened in shock as he looked around "ferb! Oh no what happened to you! Where am I? Wait is this our room?!" he exclaimed but he didn't even acknowledge him he's always been quiet but you cold tell by his face that he cold hear you. why couldn't ferb hear him? He reached out to comfort his crying brother but he couldn't feel him. "ferb? Please stop crying. I don't want you to be sad" he said "please..." why wasn't he responding? It was like he was a ghost. Then he noticed that ferb was holding something. Was that his jacket? Why did it have blood on it? Then he whispered "why?" he said as he started to cry harder "why couldn't it of been me?" he was now confused what was he talking about? Was he dead?... no that's a stupid thought of corce he was alive wasn't he? He tried to remember what happened yesterday but he couldn't why couldn't he remember? Then Candace walked into the room. Her eyes where red and puffy, properly form crying a lot "its time ferb... are you sure you want to come?" there was a long pause before he replied "yes...i want to say goodbye" goodbye? Now he knew he was dead "i understand... well we have to go now" she said as she put a hand onto his shoulder. "ok" he replayed as they walked to the car. What happened to me why am I dead?" he said but of course nobody could hear him. It was like he was invisible... well he was wasn't he? Why couldn't he remember? The started to watch is own funeral "Is that Isabella crying with baljeet?" he said "wow Even beuford looks upset! Is this my funeral? It looks like it is as my friends are walking up to say there speech... no it cant be... is that... me? But how did I die? well it looks like im getting berried now. Wow who would of known that so many people would go to my funeral... who would of known I would die at the age if 16... gosh everyone is so sad... I wish I cold just comfort them... but I would of rather it be me than anyone else... I don't think I can handle any-more of this though..." he said as he felt a few stray tears roil down his cheeks. Then he felt an hand on his back as he turned around he saw "d-dad?..."


	2. Chapter 2

he looked down to the ground "i wish you where there too..." he said. "dad? Are you ok?" phineas said concerned and slightly confused... shurely he diddent hear him "yeh of coarse I am its just..." he trailed off

"just what?"

"don't you remember?"

"remember what?"

"how you died"

there was a pause as he tried to remember what happened "...no what happened?" he sighed "you cant remember?." he said "what do you mean?" he said confused he sighed and pointed to his chest. there was a huge blood stain and trails of mud on his once bright shirt.

-flashback-

"JUST SHUT UP FERB I DON'T CARE JUST GO AWAY!" he shouted at his brother as he felt hot tears roll down his checks as he ran across the usually quite road. "PHINEAS JUST LISTEN TO ME FUCKS SAKE!" farb screamed he never usually screamed especially at his brother.

it was like one of those dramatic movies ya know the ones. but this wasn't a movie... this was real life... a huge difference...

-reality-

he felt more tears run down his face "it was my fault..." he thought to himself as he started to break down "IT ALWAYS WAS!" he cried with the comfort of his father. "it wasn't ether of you two's fault you both where upset" his dad said trying to sooth his son. when he was calm he spoke up "did you know why we where evn auguring" he murmured. "...no but I do know how you died" he replied "w-we where agueing because i-" he paused "i...i was hospitalised because...i... I cut my arms so much that... I fainted" he finally said letting a few tears flow down his checks "why?" his dad said. He could tell that he was starting to get concerned, even if his son was dead. there was a long pause before he replied "its a long story..." he said "then tell me all of what happened" he replied "w-well ok..." suddenly the clouds broke up to show the story he just thought that was how heaven worked so he started to explain

phineas walked into his class, it was his first day at school after a exiting summer. This was the few lessons where he didn't have any of the gang in as he sat down. "oh my gosh look at his head" a girl murmured behind him "yeh I know its shaped as a dorito!" another girl whispered as the gang of girls started to laugh "hey dorito head! What's yore name and why is yore head a dorito!" another girl said "you must have had plastic surgery!" she commented "n-no I have not had surgery this is the head I was born with! And my name's phineas NOT dorito head!" he said annoyed by there comments "well then yore head must be deformed" the other girl said as the bell went. "_im not deformed..._" he murmured

"and that's how it started they kept on saying mean comments about me... it had gone on since I was 14 a-and I couldn't take it anymore…i needed relief s-so I started to cut myself.." he said berly managing to speak as the pitcher changed to him in a bathroom

(***WARNING! it gets sad and also its a seance of self-harm here***)

he had a sharp piece of glass and started to cut up his arms (witch had obliviously been cut before) and started co put deep cuts all the way up his arms. After a few minuets he started to feel light headed and fell to the floor. "PHINEAS! GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM I NEED TO GET REDY BEFORE I GO ON A DATE WITH JERAMY!" Candace screeched as she banged on the door, as there was no reply she opened the door "THATS IT! GET OUT I N-" she was cut short by the bloody seen of her younger brother passed out on the floor. "n-no! PHINEAS!" she screeched as she rushed downstairs as fer rushed in to see to his brother (he had obliviously seen what happened)

yay sorry its not chapter 3 ^^' im really busy at the moment but don't worry iv fixed it up, again reviews are appreciated and will motivate me a little (please bear in mind that i will do it anyway :B im just busy)


	3. Chapter 3

*i awoken to a white room... I thought I was dead... obliviously I wasn't yet... I cant believe I wasted my second chance so soon..." he muttered half to himself half to his dad

"phineas... can I ask you something" ferb said as they arrived at there school to meet the gang "of corse you can" he said before getting bombarded by Isabella "PHIN YORE ALIVE!" she cries hugging her boyfriend. "yeah of coarse I am heh heh" phineas said slightly nervous "so what where ya gonna ask ferb?" he said" oh it doesn't matter now ill tell ya after school" he said as the gang started to walk to there lockers "sooo dinner bell I herd that you tried to commit suicide with a blade to yore wrists... is that why you weren't ere?" buford asked. "BEUFORD! HOW COULD YOU BE SO INSENSITIVE!" baljeet complained "cuz its jus in my nature that's why so dinner bell answer ma question" he said stopping in front of the smaller boy looking intensely into his eyes. There was a verry long silence with the boy staring at the smaller boy "well? Cat got yore tounge or something? Or has yore voice box finally burned out from ya talkin" beuford said impatient. Phineas sighed sa he turned away from the larger boy "...yes" he mustered "lets just get to class now ok?" beuford laughed "you really think im going to believe that? Show me the scars" he said garbing the boy by the collar and turning him so he had no choice but to show him "oh...my...fucking...god!" he said "y-you really did! Whoa but why the hell would you do that?" "why dont you just shut the fuck up! NOBODY SAID FOR YOU TO OPEN YORE FUCKING GOB SO KEEP IT SHUT OK?" phineas snapped and wiggled out of his grasp "whoa dinner bell! I dont think you have ever talked to me like that EVER" he said "well then you sholdent push me" he said as he walked to his locker""well that was completely out of character but he dose have a point" baljeet commented as he went to his locker "since when do you have a point" beuford said as the too frienamies argued once again. "are you shure yore ok" ferb asked his brother "yes" he said sharply as he walked to classroom "ill see ya later k?" he said as he walked to class "ok see ya" he replied as they both walked to classi-it was after school that day when he asked"

"why cant you just tell me? Why is it so dam hard phin?" ferb said slightly raising his voice as the too boys slowly started to ague "because...i" he paused "shut up" he finally said raising his voice in almost a yell as Isabella ,beuford and baljeet stood awkwardly a few inches away from the arguing siblings. "just tell me already phin all I want to do is help!" he said raising his voice a little louder and sighed "im worried about you phin... I don't want anything else to happen to y-" " JUST SHUT UP FERB I DON'T CARE JUST GO AWAY!" he interrupted as he started to run in to the usually quiet road "WAIT PHINEAS JUST LISTEN TO ME FUCKS SAKE! STOP!" farb screamed as he saw his brother get hit by the car shards of glass scattered everywhere including his hair. But that was the last thing of his mind. "NO PHINEAS!" he said tears streaming down his cheeks (witch had splotches of his brothers blood on it) as he cry'd into his brothers chest. "im so sorry... its all my fault" he sobbed with the frantic voices of his friends he knew there was nothing they could do as his step-brother whispered into his ears "it was because the girls in that class where bullying me... I'm so sorry its not your f-falt" he mustered the last words he could breath out as he went limp.

Im sooooo sorry this diddent come out sooner I am completely out of ideas TT_TT you can review if you want and mabye give me some ideas? Oh yeh and im making more story's to be prepared i know its still chappy 3 e-e


	4. Chapter 4

sorry its not another chappy, im going to temporarilly stop letting go untill inspioreation hits me :( if you want ideas are greatly apreciated :D


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